Susan’s Last 10 Days in May Magic Bullet Muffin & Fat Back Buster UnDiet & Weight Release Thing

“Ya gotta’ get a Magic Bullet.” “You’ll love it!”

My cousin Liane recommends for the fifth or sixth time in as many months.

“What’s a Magic Bullet? Remind me again….”

(I’m going down the same path as my Alzheimer’s Mom….)

“It’s a blender-like thing you use to make smoothies, salad dressing, chopped nuts, all kinds of stuff. It’s so cool because it’s small, and it has these cups that screw directly onto the blender base.”

“You put your smoothie ingredients or whatever into the cup, you flip it upside down onto the blender base, you blend it, take if off the base, take the top off and bingo! it’s ready to drink. It’s fast, fun and easy, and I use mine all the time. It’s perfect when you’re in a rush.”

My ears perk up; “alwaysinarush” is my middle name.

In fact, at the time this conversation occurred (November 2012), I was hacking my way through a thicket of chaos into unknown territory (when am I not?), Mom had just moved into a care facility, I was also about to move (AGAIN!), and I was feeling massively overwhelmed (SNAFU as usual). I didn’t want to cart one more thing around with me, no matter how small or useful it might be.

Six months later I’m slightly more settled. For the moment at least.

With spring in full sprung, I decide (yesterday) to unpack my last suitcase, the one in which my summer clothes have been hibernating. As I liberate various pink and purple bits and pieces from their winter home, I am compelled to try them on.

Oops. That cute-as-a-button fuchsia, orange, and white skirt I adore is just a tiny bit tight around the hips!

Hmmmm. Perhaps more than a tiny bit…. (it fit PERFECTLY in 2010 =>)

My one piece triathlon suit doesn’t glide up and over my haunches like it used to. It’s a one-woman tug of war to get it past my butt and up to my waist.

When I finally get the tri suit all the way on, I check my rear view in the mirror:

OMG! Not the dread FAT BACK! Little ripples of flesh, the only things that grow in our frigid Canadian winters, ruin the landscape of my dorsal side.

(They sure look cute on this pink-tutu-clad-about-to-go-dancing cowgirl though don’t they?!)

A long and flowing soft-pink skirt (same shade as the tutu) which I cannot bear to throw away (even though it’s been torn and mended in several places and the fabric is starting to rot here and there), produces a MUFFIN TOP (yuk) at belly button level.

I love to wear my fun and funky clothes, and I don’t particularly feel like buying new ones. (Unlike many women, I hate shopping.)

Curses. I need a fast-working, seemingly-miraculous, cheap-and-cheerful solution before the summer bathing suit season sets in. I recall my conversation with Liane. Holy weight loss Batman, I need a Magic Bullet!

I gave up on dieting years ago. I discovered the best way for me to return to my “fighting weight” when I feel heavy and/or sluggish is to eat less and exercise more. It’s simple really.

So. From May 22 to 31 I’m doing my very own Last 10 Days in May Magic Bullet Muffin & Fat Back Buster UnDiet & Weight Release Program (catchy name don’t ya’ think?), in which I will:

• consume more consciously by choice
• focus on “juicy” food prepared in my new Magic Bullet one shot (the 12-piece set which I got on sale at Canadian Tire this week – yippee!) You can also order the 17-piece set (which I now wish I had bought instead because it has special microwave pieces) from Amazon.com, and from Amazon.ca.
• up my exercise

I will also increase my awareness by asking myself:

• Are you hungry?
• Are you thirsty?
• Have you had sufficient?
• Do you need more? Or do you just want more?
• Is it time to stop?

There will be no measuring of self, weighing of self (or food), or obsessively watching what I eat. I will experiment with my new Bullet and share recipes and adventures on the blog.

Follow along and/or join me if you like. Add your own recipes and suggestions in the comments if you wish. Use another brand of “bullet,” or even a regular blender will do.

Important caveat: I am not a nutritionist, and this may or may not be a “healthy” regime for me or you or anyone else. It’s just a thing I’m doing for a short time for my own personal long-term well being.

Ready, set, GO get a Bullet!

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• Day 1: Last 10 Days in May Magic Bullet Muffin Buster (amazingsusansblog.wordpress.com)
• Day 2: 10 Days in May Magic Bullet Muffin Buster (amazingsusansblog.wordpress.com)
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