two steps forward, one step back

“…a situation where progress is made, but then setbacks occur, causing a temporary halt or even a reversal of that progress, though overall, the trajectory remains forward.”

I’ve been mostly not writing a blog post about sleeping for more than two weeks. I write a few lines or even a para or two and then…squirrel! I get up to do some rehab exercises or, more often than not, find and share interesting Canadian-election-related stuff on FB. (I am consumed by all aspects of the upcoming Canadian election and would encourage everyone to VOTE.)

The sleep post remains unfinished.

On the other hand, I’m diligent about doing my rehab exercises, as well as walking, weather permitting. I spread the exercises throughout the day, because they sometimes wear me out quite quickly.  When it snows – as it has done several times in the last ten days – I forego the walks because I don’t want to fall.

Despite my best efforts, I sometimes feel as if I’m regressing instead of progressing. The past few days I haven’t been walking as well as I was while in the hospital. My left calf and quad often feel cramped and I seem to have acquired a limp I didn’t have before. I’m tired and frequently feel spaced out – almost like being stoned, but not in a good way.

I have constant muscle pain in my back. I think it’s from the soft tissue injuries I sustained in last July’s motorcycle collision being exacerbated by the hospital beds and the awkward movement resulting from the stroke, but who knows? I pop Tylenol, soak in a warm bath once a day and apply Arnica (the ‘natural’ version of Voltaren) to take the edge off the pain. Walking alleviates it somewhat too, but the snow has precluded doing as much as I would like.

I saw the neurologist at the Civic a week ago Friday. She said I’m very lucky and doing well, but that it will take a year for me to achieve a full recovery if indeed a full recovery is in the cards. It all depends on a bunch of unknowns.

I said I was keen to ride my motorcycle again to which she replied: “There’s a reason we call you guys ‘organ donors’ you know. And as you get older, your reflexes aren’t as good as they were…” Her message was clear.

“I know the risks.” I smiled. She shrugged.

I started at the Day Hospital rehab in Perth this week. My first of twelve forty-five-minute visits with the Occupational Therapist went well, she gave me exercises to build strength in my hands, arms and shoulders. I started doing them this morning.  I will work with a physiotherapist as well, but that won’t be for another week or two as she has a longer waiting list than the OT. In the meantime, I will keep up with the program I have.

One thing I’m pleased about is that my ability to type on the laptop keyboard with my left hand is almost back to normal. Emphasis on the almost. I will keep practicing, though I can’t promise I’ll be turning out posts with any more regularity than I have of late.

Another good thing is that I have been able to ditch the incontinence pull-ups and go back to my decidedly skimpier underwear. Yippee! (I know – probably TMI LOL :P)

When I get a little down or feel as if I’m going backwards, I re-read this para from Your Stroke Journey: A Guide for People Living with Stroke, a helpful booklet they gave me in Perth:

“Your recovery may slow down or seem to stop for a time. You may even feel you are getting worse. This is a common feeling. Your therapist may say you have reached a plateau and may reassess your abilities. Don’t get discouraged. Treat a plateau as a signal to reassess, not an end to recovery. Look at what you have achieved. Figure out what you need to do to change to move forward. Do you need to change your goals or do you need to change your strategy? Talk with your therapist about this and make a plan to move forward together.”