Feelings, Narcissism, Poetry, Relationships


I wrote this poem in May 2020 when my narcissist lover discarded me for the third time. He would discard me three more times between then and me publishing the piece in October 2020.

In hindsight, I wish I had not accepted him back, but “hindsight is always 20/20” as they say. Now, finally, I am free. Sadly, as I write this, he remains bound to the emotionally abusive pattern he experienced, learned, practiced and became comfortable with in the decades before we met.

Some ties that bind are easier to escape than others. The ones in which we chain ourselves are the hardest to break. I hope one day he will find his lost self, and become free to give and accept real love.

©2020 pookie



“i don’t want to hurt you,”
that’s what you said
then you cut me and stabbed me
until my heart bled

toxic places and people
you left to be sure
but you can’t leave yourself
you’re the one you must cure

the one who is small
afraid, insecure
who hides behind masks
designed to be lures

to tempt innocent souls
with promises grand
knock ‘em dead, ’til they dread
the punches you land

“I want to be free,”
you said while i cried
now the irony is,
you’re the one who is tied

repeating a pattern
that leaves others scarred:
charm, disarm, create harm
devalue, discard

the cycle entraps you
it goes round and around
in a twister of chaos
to which you are bound

i had imagined us twinned
soaring high in the sky
but you chose to be chained
so instead it’s goodbye



© 2020 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.

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