where is she?
The impact of narcissistic abuse on survivors is profound, and potentially crippling.
If the abuse began in childhood with a narcissistic parent or family system, the effects may last for a lifetime, as those who have been abused themselves become abusers in a hard-to-break repeat of a tragic and destructive pattern.
I am experiencing a range of effects from having been involved in a relationship with someone who is high on the narcissistic spectrum. The narcissistic cycle of abuse was repeated a dozen times over the course of our relatively short relationship.
Now, I am taking concrete steps to address what I have been through. Writing poetry is part of my healing process.
In the aftermath of the abuse, I am experiencing a loss of sense of self. This poem is about that. It’s also about knowing that one day soon I will rediscover, rebirth and restore the me that’s me.
where is she?
©2020 punkie
where is she?
where is she now
the you that’s you,
the one you know
and trust?
how did she come
to disappear like
shadows after dusk?
what happened to her
inner joy, the laughter
in her eyes?
are they the tragic victims
of someone else’s lies?
where is she now
the you that’s you,
the one you know
and trust?
how did she come
to be ground down
like gold turned into dust?
what happened to her
spirit strong, her courage
and her heart?
who would want to deconstruct,
and tear them all apart?
where is she now
the you that’s you,
the one you know
and trust?
perhaps she sacrificed herself
to someone else’s lust?
where will she turn, what will she do,
now the door’s been closed?
she’ll find that in this ending,
rebirth may be enclosed.
she is here,
the you that’s you,
the one you know
and trust
to right old wrongs, sing new songs,
and recover what is just.
© 2020 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.
