Feelings, Life, Poetry


I had recurring nightmares throughout my twenties and thirties. Now? Not so much.

Except for three nights ago when I dreamt someone was in my bed and holding me so tight I couldn’t move. Every time I tried to call out, no sound came out of my mouth. I was terrified.

This poem is about that.


Click on the audio player if you would like to hear me read the poem:



there’s someone behind me
but how can that be?
it’s night and it’s dark
it’s a quarter past three

i haven’t yet slept
i lie here awake
or that’s what I think
as my mind starts to skate

there’s someone behind me
i feel his front on my back
he holds me vice like
so tight that I crack

whomever, whatever,
this thing in my bed
it’s here to destroy me
that’s as clear as my dread

i try to call out
but I can’t make a sound
where is my voice?
seems it’s not to be found

i want to escape
but I can’t, he’s too strong
i’m afraid, i can’t breathe,
suddenly everything’s wrong

“please help me! please help!”
i shout in my mind
the pleas stick in my throat
as if caught in a bind

i free one of my hands
try to poke out his eye
“let me go! let me go!”
i wordlessly cry

my lips remain silent
as my self and my soul
scream in terror and pain
and despair takes control

just as i lose
all hope of salvation
from some deep inner place
arrives swift liberation

with a gasp I awaken
my body’s unbound
in my chest, like a hammer
my heart starts to pound

I gulp in some air
to banish my fear
down my cheek, salty sweet
rolls a single lost tear

the nightmare is over
my space once again mine
as the moon fades to black
and the sun starts to shine

© 2021 Susan Macaulay . I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.

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