Feelings, Narcissism, Relationships

99 lies narcissists tell their gfs, lovers, partners and/or spouses

I participate in a couple of support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse. Some of the stories people share, particularly the women, are brutal and tragic. Many of the stories, the ones about having the courage to get out, are inspiring.

Being a part of these kinds of groups is comforting because you know your are not alone.

One of the astounding aspects of the information sharing is the similarities in many of the experiences. Someone in one group, which has close to ten thousand members, jokingly asked: “Besides ‘I love you,’ what other jokes does your narc tell?” The same answers came up over and over again. Those birds of a narcissistic feather seem to stick together! Either that, or someone is giving them all the same scripts…

I was inspired to create a list of the lies using the group members’ responses and incorporating some of those I heard from my abuser:

  1. I love you
  2. I’ve changed
  3. I’m sorry
  4. I didn’t mean to hurt you
  5. I’m going to quit drinking/cheating/lying/hurting you/hitting you/
  6. I’ve never met anyone as beautiful as you
  7. I just want to be with you, even if it’s just for 5 minutes
  8. I’m not texting any other women
  9. I’m only texting other women, I’m not meeting them
  10. I’m only meeting other women as friends
  11. I’m going turkey hunting in the morning
  12. I was on the phone with my brother
  13. I haven’t called her
  14. I never text her anymore
  15. I haven’t slept with her since I’ve been with you
  16. I’m only sleeping with you
  17. I love you
  18. I want to marry you
  19. I’ve never cheated on anyone
  20. I cheated on my ex, but I’ll never cheat on you
  21. I don’t lie
  22. I’m not married
  23. I don’t have a girlfriend
  24. I practice safe sex
  25. I want us to be in an exclusive relationship
  26. I was out with the boys
  27. The car broke down
  28. I would never look at anyone but you
  29. I would never lie to you
  30. I only want what’s good for us
  31. I don’t go to strip clubs
  32. I don’t watch porn
  33. I’ve never used tinder
  34. I never said that
  35. I never did that
  36. My ex was a bitch
  37. My ex treated me bad
  38. My ex cheated on me
  39. My ex wouldn’t have sex with me
  40. My ex never gave me a bj
  41. My ex is a control freak
  42. My ex is mentally ill
  43. My ex abused me
  44. My ex left me
  45. I didn’t touch her
  46. She called me first
  47. She won’t leave me alone
  48. I tried to break up with her
  49. I love you more than life itself
  50. You are the only one for me
  51. I can’t live without you
  52. I’ve never been so happy
  53. You are my family
  54. You are my best friend
  55. I hate being late
  56. I’m always on time
  57. I miss you
  58. I’ve never lied to you, and I never will
  59. You can trust me
  60. You are my home
  61. I love you
  62. I didn’t do it
  63. We will grow old together
  64. I only get hard when I’m with you
  65. You’re the only one I want in my life
  66. I’m not lying. I have no reason to lie
  67. I’m so grateful God sent you to me
  68. I never did anything with her
  69. I only kissed her once
  70. I only slept with her once
  71. We met once, and I knew she wasn’t for me
  72. I thought we were on a break
  73. You’re different than the rest
  74. I don’t know her
  75. I’ve never seen her before in my life
  76. She messaged me out of the blue
  77. I could never cheat on you
  78. I’m sorry I hurt you, but you…
  79. I will never leave you
  80. I’m here for you
  81. I just want to make you laugh
  82. I was hunting all weekend
  83. There’s nothing wrong with me
  84. I have no issues
  85. No ego here
  86. I’m open to change
  87. I want us to work things out together
  88. I need you
  89. I want you
  90. I don’t need anyone else but you
  91. I’m worried about you
  92. I want to take care of you
  93. I love to make you smile
  94. I never hit anyone in my life
  95. I would never lay a hand on you
  96. You are too precious to risk losing
  98. It’s not my fault; you’re the one who…
  99. I’m yours forever



Maybe I told you right from the start,
You can have me, but you can’t have my heart,
It’s easy enough to say but I couldn’t care less,
Yeah I might’ve told you you were on my mind,
But, guess I talk a pretty good line,
Hey I could talk all day,
But I just can’t confess,
That I’m a liar,
I’m a victim of desire,
I’m moth into the fire,
Yeah I’m over my head – forget what I said,
Tell ya I’m a liar,
I’m just walking on the wire,
That I couldn’t get much higher,
Yeah I’m over my head – forget what I said,
Baby I’m a liar.
Yeah when I told you I was hard to pin down,
Ya know I was just messin’ around,
Guess you know by now that that’s just my way,
And if you want stories – well I got a few,
But hey, this is the truth I swear to you,
Yeah how many more times do you want me to say
I’m a liar
if I told ya to go away
baby you can’t believe a thing I say

© 2020 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.

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