everything’s gonna be alright…eventually

February and March 2020 weren’t such great months.

Not for me. Not for most of the rest of the world.

I wrote this poem towards the middle of March, after I experienced several particularly difficult weeks. I kept it to myself as my skies began to clear.

Since then, the worldwide impact of the COVID-19 pandemic has been making itself felt. I thought others might identify with the personal sentiments I expressed in the piece.

One day, it will all be over.

everything’s gonna be alright…eventually

©2020 punkie

everything’s gonna be alright…eventually

here i am
torn to shreds
my insides are dead
there’s blood everywhere:
on the chairs, in the air
and no one can fix it ’cause life’s not a picnic
it’s guts and it’s gore curled up on the floor
where the things i once knew
are now nothing but spew
my stomach is sick
slit my wrists: do it quick!

see the hole in my chest?
my heart’s just a mess
my mind has gone AWOL,
there’s no hope of landfall,
grief rips up my core in an unholy war
maiming and killing
while the tears keep on spilling
and each day it gets worse, the nights are a curse
in this void that surrounds me in a world that confounds me

and i pray for relief from the sorrow and grief,
but no answer comes,
no angels, no drums:
i’m denied any grace or a way to replace
my suffering soul with one made of gold
one that’s healthy and whole
not withered and cold

and yet,
somewhere in the future my wounds will be sutured
though the scars may remain and sometimes cause me pain,
life is worth living, receiving and giving
when in comes the light
and every thing is alright

© 2020 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.

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