Feelings, Narcissism, Poetry, Relationships


Narcissism is a problem of our time, or so it would seem. I believe my father was high on the narcissism spectrum, I know my brother DEFINITELY tops the charts, and I was romantically involved with a “narcissist” for close to a year and half.

When I posted links on my Facebook page about what I had thought was a monogamous relationship with someone who is high on the narcissism spectrum (dear narcissist and the painful cycle of narcissistic abuse), two women (whom I hadn’t known previously, but who live in the same town as me), contacted me to say they had been similarly involved with the same man in the same timeframe. Ouch. I wasn’t alone, and not in a good way.

I have learned a lot from my experiences with so-called “narcissists.” They can be extremely charming and seductive, and will go to great lengths to get what they want. They are frequently facile and habitual liars. They often cheat on their spouses or partners. It’s easy to fall prey to their charms, and get caught in their webs of deceit – particularly if you are alone and vulnerable.

Had I known then what I know now, I would have been better equipped to avoid being harmed. I am saddened knowing the pattern will repeat, and that other women like me (and the ones who contacted me), will suffer. My heart breaks for those future targets/victims/survivors; I wish there were some way I could protect them from being hurt.

Also, I feel grief and empathy for this man, whom I loved, and who is equally a victim of this cycle of abuse, which is the result of emptiness and pain. I hope he is able to find the courage and strength to heal so he may eventually experience love for himself and for others <3

Note: I use the word “whore” in the poem in this sense.

the masquerade

©2020 punkie

the masquerade


you came and went
the time we spent
was nothing in your eyes

the masks you wore
your inner whore
were hidden by your lies

amidst the din
of pain and sin
you casually denied

you couldn’t care
you didn’t dare
dismantle your disguise

now there you go
the perfect beau
charming, quick and sly

new victims wait
to take the bait
i hear their future cries

their fate is writ
in empty pits
they’ll suffer, starve and die

while you stalk on
from dusk ‘til dawn
grooming fresh supply


© 2020 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.

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dear narcissist

i know my own truth

the painful cycle of narcissistic abuse