Narcissism, Relationships

3 best books on surviving narcissists and narcissistic abuse

It’s not easy to break the painful cycle of narcissistic abuse.

Leaving a relationship with a narcissist and/or psychopath is really hard for a whole bunch of reasons. Nevertheless, many women escape and build better lives for themselves. I’m in the process of doing that after having been in an emotionally abusive relationship (aka a pathological love relationship / PLR) for about two years.

I’ve done a lot of work (it’s ongoing!) to help myself heal myself. I’ve watched tons of videos, listened to podcasts, participated in FB groups, had therapy, etc. And I’ve read A LOT of books. Of the many I’ve read, these are the ones I would most recommend to help survivors of narcissistic abuse understand narcissism, survive it and then thrive in their own lives:

1)  The Narcissist in Your Life: Recognizing the Patterns and Learning to Break Free

Julie L. Hall’s comprehensive book on narcissism covers ALL the bases, from growing up in a narcissistic family system to leaving an abusive relationships with a narcissist. The only thing I didn’t like about this book is the use of the term co-dependent. Other than that, it’s EXCELLENT. See excerpts from this book at these links:

2)  Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths and Narcissists

If you are a woman who is or has been in a relationship with a Cluster B personality type, this book by Sandra L. Brown is a must read. It clearly shows, using research, the kinds of traits that make certain women targets for predatory behaviour by narcissists and other problematic personality types. This book is SO helpful. Expensive but worth it!

3) Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

Lundy Bancroft does an outstanding job of getting inside the heads of abusive men in this fabulous resource. Bancroft is all for women, believing women, and helping women get out of toxic relationships. The book is organized around the questions most asked by women who find themselves in relationships with abusive men. While it is not specific to narcissists, most of the information in it applies directly to abusive narcissistic relationships. It is Incredibly insightful and useful.

These three books have helped me more than I can say. I would recommend them to any woman who has grown up in a narcissistic family system or who find herself in a relationship with a narcissist or any other Cluster B type disordered person.


© 2020 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.

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dear narcissist

the painful cycle of narcissistic abuse