Creativity, Humour, Just for fun, Poetry, Writing

the chris-ening


A cheeky seasonal salute (in punny poetry form) to CBC’s As It Happens co-host Chris Howden, pictured above in a treated screen shot lifted with impunity (so far LOL) from a CBC video.

the chris-ening

by susan © 2021

Listen here:

Read here:

the chris-ening

forgive me chris howden
but i wanted you banned
when you took over the job
of jeff douglas, my man

surely I pondered
they could find someone better?
someone who’d enliven
aih news and letters?

as a writer you shine
behind the scenes you are great
what possessed the damned bosses
to open the gate?

your word plays are brilliant,
and so punny too
you are tops it is true
of the show’s writing crew

but could a voice be more flat?
a delivery more plain?
those dumb ducks above
had plumb gone insane

“leave him there cbc!”
i wishfully thought
more adept speaking talent
may surely be bought

on air you sucked big time
it pains me to say
for the end of your segments
i daily would pray

how den did you do it
miraculous chris?
from “not again, oh my god”
to: “he deserves a big kiss!”

you must have had coaching
or they fed you a pill
one day at a time
you got ever more skilled

slowly and surely
you vastly improved
could it be? might it be?
you were finding your groove…?

then of a sudden
your voice had inflection
with an audience wide
you created connection

two years have gone by
since the changing of chairs
you’ve finally arrived
though without facial hair

here’s to you mr howden
you’ve proven me wrong
so i’m eating crow
that’s the short and the long

now the season’s upon us
the one of good cheer
if you lived round the corner
well, i’d buy you a beer

i hope you don’t fall
into some festive abyss
as it happens, i now don’t,
want to give chris a miss

ho ho ho, jingle bells
and all of the rest
isn’t this poem
just the holiday best?

if you read it right through
without (bleeping) it up
i’ll toast to your health
whenever i sup


© 2021 Susan Macaulay. I invite you to share my poetry and posts widely, but please do not reprint, reblog or copy and paste them in their entirety without my permission. Thank you.


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